OH, YEAH... I'm having FUN NOW! As I sit here, I have just finished my first 8 ounce glass (of 4 litters) of what I would like to call "Butt Blast," since I know that it will be "blasting" out of my butt before I know it! I've watched Jeff go through the colonoscopy prep 3 times, and I've spoken with enough family members and friends to know that THERE IS something more explosive that POP ROCKS and COKE... and it is already starting to gurgle in my tummy!Sooooo... I've decided there are 2 ways to look at the "potty party" that I am about to endure...
... and it should be obvious that this necessary evil is going to be handled with as much laughter and bad butt jokes that I can muster!!! So, let's jump right in, shall we...?
POTTY PARTY GAME #1: Guess how much weight I will lose by the time the procedure is over. YES, I know most of it will come right back on when I start eating again, but I thought this was an interesting question! Here are the details:
* Yesterday was the "white diet."
* Today... clear liquids only and the Butt Blast concoction, Part 1.
* Tomorrow... 2nd half of the Butt Blast and clear liquids until 10AM. Then NOTHING until my test is over... which is scheduled for 3:45PM... almost a whole 2nd day of a liquid diet!
My Guess: 8 pounds
Jeff's Guess: 6 pounds
Jessica's Guess: 10 pounds
POTTY PARTY GAME #2: Share your best (or worst) Colonoscopy joke or video. Here are a few of my favorites...
"Colonoscopies are no joke , but these comments during the exam were quite
humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments
made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their
colonoscopies:
1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!
10. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
And the best one of all...
11. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up
there?"
humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments
made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their
colonoscopies:
1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!
2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
3. "Can you hear me NOW?"
4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."
6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."
8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!
10. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
And the best one of all...
11. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up
there?"
You MUST watch this video... comedian Billy Connolly, Colonoscopy
(tears start running around the 2nd minute!)
POTTY PARTY MUSIC PLAYLIST: Of course, every great party has to have a playlist! Here are some of the BEST BUTT SONGS of all time!!! I DARE YOU to try not to dance to these!!!
OK... things are starting to "Rock and Roll" here, so I best sign off now. Post your jokes, comments, stories, weight loss guesses or add more songs to our playlist. Thanks for joining in and I'll let you know how it all goes on the flip side!!!
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